


What We Lost in the Fire

by karalovesallthegirls



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Kind of angsty, Yeahhhh, eventual supercat, secret agent Kara, slow burn relationship build-up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-22
Updated: 2016-03-07
Packaged: 2018-05-21 05:25:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6039928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/karalovesallthegirls/pseuds/karalovesallthegirls
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[[[[[[abandoned]]]]]]</p><p> </p><p>[Canon Divergence where the Danvers die soon after taking in Kara and the DEO steps in to raise both girls.]</p><p>After 8 years of working as a secret agent for the DEO, Kara is pretty confident she can handle any case. So when she's called to infiltrate CatCo to keep tabs on its controversial CEO she's not too concerned.</p><p>I mean really, how hard is it to be some lady's assistant?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. To Build a Fire

**Author's Note:**

> The idea for this story ate my soul while trying to work on LTARC and I realized I had to get all of this out first. I have 15k of this story written already, I'm expecting it to be around 30-35k total. I have the whole thing mapped out so this has an end already in sight. I'm hoping to update twice a week.

She’s twelve when she reaches Earth, fifteen when the DEO comes for her.

Kal-El is there when she first crashes and he’s so much bigger than he was before. He doesn’t need her protection, not now when he’s already a man, and just like that her one motivation for surviving the end is gone. There’s no grand mission anymore, no reason to be here. Kal-El disagrees, says now she has the chance to live a normal life. She doesn't understand what he could possibly mean by a normal life here on Earth. The sky is so dark here, even with the sun, and the landscape is so flat and plain. The language is strange here and the people dress so differently. What about this planet could possibly be normal? But Kal-El just smiles; he doesn’t understand. He could never understand. He may have been Krypton born, but he was Earth raised. He never knew any better than this strange, confusing planet, and he really doesn’t know how to handle this strange, confused girl.

So he hands her to the Danvers who are as kind and as loving as they can be despite their jarring cultural differences, and without so much as another thought Kal-El leaves and never really looks back.

She reaches out to him a dozen times while the Danvers are still alive, but after a while he stops replying. He has a human life, he had a human childhood. He’s Superman sure, but at his core he is Clark Kent, not Kal-El. He didn’t know Krypton, he doesn’t understand her weird ways. He’s never been good with kids so he doesn’t really try. He leaves her fully in the care of the Danvers.

They do their best, they _really_ do, but at the end of the day she’s really just thankful that Alex is there. Because having someone like Alex in her life is the only way she can handle this strange new world. Kal-El was the closest she had had to a sibling before, but she’s only ever known him as a baby or a man. Alex is her age, Alex is awkward in her own ways, and Alex can empathize with the whole “new body experiencing new things” situation although not to the extent Kara feels. Alex is there for those first terrible steps, when her body reacts with strength she’s never experienced in her life. Alex talks her through the panic, the fear at her own power. Alex helps her hide the burn marks and gaping holes in the walls as they test out just what Kara can do. Alex doesn’t feel the need to treat her like anything but human, and soon she starts to feel like maybe she can be like Kal-El. Maybe she can just be a person, too.

Then the house fire happens.

They’re at school when their shared world ends and even though the Danvers should be at work they’re in the house somehow and they never make it out of the burning building.

_(Kara fights for years to get the police reports but the files are classified way above her clearance level)_

And now suddenly Kara isn’t the only orphan Danvers child, now she gets to watch Alex’s whole world explode just like her own.

They share the same scars now and their sisterhood is solidified in pain.

When the day comes that the foster system tries to separate them they fight. Alex almost ends up in juvie after assaulting two of the police officers trying to take her to her new home. That night her caretakers are shocked to have Kara knocking at their back door, having found Alex without knowing her new address.

They move Alex three cities over next and she runs away that very first night. The cops find them both together sleeping at a bus station trying to bum enough money to get to Metropolis. Kara keeps shouting about a cousin there they could live with but there is no cousin listed on her file. There isn’t anyone but the Danvers and the Danvers are dead. They decide after that that it’s not worth the energy to separate them for rehoming and they end up in an already overcrowded foster home. They have to share a bed that’s a few inches too short for them, but it’s okay because they’re together and that’s really all that matters.  
  
 Kara is still so painfully awkward. In fact its worse now, the pain of repeated loss having amplified her own body discomfort. She’s too strong, too loud, too fast, and sometimes the radical power of her own body overwhelms her to the point that she has to find a place to just hide and breathe. She counts quietly to herself in Kryptonese, rocking with her hands over her ears and her eyes squeezed tight. Alex always finds her like this and pulls her into a hug, letting the younger girl melt into her arms. At this point Alex has learned to count in Kryptonese herself and will count along. Hearing a voice other than her own speak that almost dead language is what brings Kara back. She teaches Alex how to say “I love you” and “sisters.” Together they continue marching on.

The other kids at the home never really take to them. Kara is so awkward and Alex is so angry that they make easy targets for bullying. When one of the other kids mock Kara for her panic attacks, Alex breaks his nose and once again skirts the line between reprimand and juvenile court. But she isn’t sorry and she makes it clear if anyone messes with Kara again she’ll do a lot worse. She’s the big sister, and it’s her job to take care of Kara. She’s all Kara has now.

And at night when the nightmares come and she sees their faces, screaming, surrounded by flames, Kara is the one who pulls her back. Kara is the one who whispers words of comfort into her ear and pets her hair. Kara sings Alex’s favorite songs to her, barely above a whisper so they don’t wake the other kids in the room, and the soft voice in her ear is what helps fight the tears away. Alex may be the protector, but Kara is the heart, and having the constant heat of her body there beside her is enough to dull the nightmares. Kara isn’t going away. She’s indestructible. Fire won’t kill her. A world exploding couldn’t even kill her. Alex has lost so much, but she still has this indestructible girl, and for her that’s enough.

 

* * *

  
It’s 4:30 on a Friday when their lives change.

They’re walking home after school’s end and Kara is rambling on and on about the play they’re doing next month that she’s hoping to be cast in. Theater is something Kara has really taken to in the past year since the Danvers died, and Alex is just relieved her sister is finding some way to survive. Plus, it’s been helping her learn social cues and how to blend in. Her awkwardness fades away when she’s on the stage, she transforms into whoever it is she's portraying. Kara says acting is what she does every day anyway, so why not have fun with it? Her whole life is an act so it’s not surprising that she’s so good at it. 

Alex is so distracted by her sister’s joy that she doesn’t notice the boys until they are right up on them. They’re Kara’s usual bullies from the foster home, and they’ve decided they've had enough of Alex’s attitude.

Before Kara fully realizes they’re a threat one of the boys knocks Alex upside the head with a baseball bat.

It’s a hard hit and Alex drops immediately. The boy has just enough time to raise the bat to strike again when Kara slams into his side, sending him flying a clear thirty feet away. The other boy looks at her in horror and screams _monster_ as her eyes start to glow red, and before she can stop herself she’s blasted him with laser vision.

It’s too strong and she can’t control it _(everything smells like burning everything is always burning_ ) and she can’t focus because of the screams so she does the only thing she can do and squeezes her eyes shut as tightly as she can.

She slams her hands over her ears to try and dull the sounds of chaos around her but it’s so loud everything is always so loud and she’s trying to focus on calming down, on staving off the panic that’s starting to grip at the edges of her lungs, but she’s listening to Alex and she’s not sure if the other girl is breathing or not and was that blood she saw before it all went red? She’s overstimulated and she can’t fight the panic attack that’s gripping her now, not when Alex is on the floor and her eyes are still shut and there’s a siren approaching. All Kara can do is scream.  
  
 The police find them like that, the two boys Kara attacked sprawled on the ground, Alex unconscious, Kara hunched and screaming. They can’t get her to stop screaming so they put her in the squad car to wait for the ambulances. Her hearts beating so fast she think it might explode and no matter how hard she tries to breathe her lungs never really feel filled and she knows she needs to get control, needs to check on Alex, but right now all she can focus on is the feeling that this is how she is going to die.

By the time they’ve packed the three injured kids into the ambulances Kara’s stopped screaming. Her eyes are still squeezed shut, though, and her hands are still firm against her ears and she won't say anything but the name _Alex_ over and over again. They ask her who Alex is, they ask what happened here (since the three others are unconscious or groaning or sizzling) but Kara is still completely unresponsive, so they do the only thing they can and take her back to the precinct.

The police don’t know what to do with this shuddering, crying girl with no identification on her, so they put her in a single cell. They figure its a calm neutral space for her to regain control and, considering the state the other kids were in, a place to hold what may be a criminal.

Kara’s only fifteen and she’s never even gotten detention before, but what would normally cause an identity crisis for the young girl does nothing to her now, not while she’s still so shaken and anxious. She sits at the bed in the room for what feels like hours, her eyes still closed and her ears still covered, humming quietly to herself.

Slowly she regains control.

The voices start filtering in then, voices from somewhere else in the building that are all talking about her and the boys she attacked and she just wants it all to stop, she really does, but words keep slipping to her ears no matter how hard she tries to tune them out. Words like  _third degree burns_ and _coma_ and _unlikely to wake up_ and please make it stop, she just wants all of this to stop.

And then they say _Alex Danvers_ and suddenly she’s at the wall with her hands pressed against it for support and her eyes wide open, staring through the cement at the officers in the other room.  

“Yes ma’am, she’s also at the hospital right now,” the cop says, and she can see he’s talking on the phone, probably to their house mother, “No one is entirely sure what happened but we do know she suffered a head injury. They said she’s stabilized for now but it’s not looking too good. Yep, just like the boys. They aren’t sure if any of ‘em will wake up.”

A numbness falls over Kara like a wave, sweeping through her body and carrying her forward to the cell’s door. In one fluid, thoughtless movement she rips it from its hinges and tosses it aside.

The police standing nearby jump in alarm and one reaches out to stop her. With a flick of her arm she sends him hurdling back into a wall. Guns are drawn then and they fire at her, raining bullets down on her small teenage frame only for them to crumble and scatter on the floor. She walks towards the door. Two are brave enough to try to block the exit, guns still firing, so she simply steps to the side and slams into the concrete wall. The wall crumbles like styrofoam and she steps out into the fresh air without another glance before taking off in flight.  

It doesn't matter that she doesn't know what hospital Alex is in. Even in this town full of people she can recognize the soft breathing of her sister. She can hear the familiar but faint heartbeat. Is she imagining it, or is it growing fainter by the minute?

She flies faster.

She walks past the front desk, past security and “Employees Only” signs until she finds her room. There’s a nurse in there tending to Alex, but all Kara can see is Alex. Never in all of her life here on Earth has she seen the other girl look so small and young. Her head is wrapped in bandages and she’s hooked up to so many machines and she just looks so, so fragile. The nurse is surprised by Kara's sudden entrance.

”Miss, you can't be in here,” she says, grabbing at Kara's wrist to drag the girl away. She's shocked to find its like trying to pull on a wall. Kara pulls her hand free easily and steps around the nurse, moving to take a sit beside Alex’s bed. The nurse tries again only to find her still unmovable. Kara levels a hard stare at the older woman before saying flatly, "I'm not leaving, and there is nothing you can do to make me move.”

And it proves to be true, as hospital security sends guard after guard to remove her only to find her still there perched in that seat by her sister. After six men at once try only to find it like pushing a ton of lead, they give up and instead try to act as if she isn't there at all. Kara prefers that.

Kara sits there for seven more hours before they come for her. She can sense them before they're even inside the hospital; they radiate energy in a way she's never encountered before and the feeling of their approach causes her skin to prickle. There are three of them, but two stop in the hallway by the door posted as guards, while the third enters the room confidently. Kara doesn't bother to look at him, refusing to look away from her sister. 

"Kara Danvers," the man starts expectantly. She refuses to look though so he continues, "my name is Hank Henshaw. I'm here to help you and your sister."

At that she looks up.

 

* * *

 

It takes the man less than an hour to convince her, and really it only takes that long because he waits until the end to mention Alex. He starts his pitch by talking about justice and the greater good when really he should have begun with his closing statement: “And, finally, we can get your sister the best medical treatment in the country. We can help her wake up."

That's really all he needed to say.

"What do I need to do?"

She tries to control the desperation in her voice, but it's hard to stay cool when the only thing that keeps her grounded is hooked up to a breathing machine.

"Come with us."  
   
And so she does. She allows herself to be moved aside as new doctors come in, doctors that work for this Henshaw man. She watches like a hawk as they move Alex out to the private ambulance waiting outside. The entire ride she holds her sisters hand, stroking it gently with her thumb, and she worries that this may be a mistake.  
  
 They drive for what feels like hours through the desert before finally reaching a plain unassuming facility. While the outside is monochromatic and flat, the inside bustles with life and activity. It seems to be built into the rock beneath the desert floor and she can see computers and technology more advanced than she’s ever seen on Earth before. _Some of this looks Kryptonian_ , she thinks to herself, but that thought is lost to the movement of Alex’s gurney. She jogs beside it as Alex is raced down a hallway to a new, brighter wing designed like a hospital. The EMT pushes her sister through double doors but turns to stop her from following.  
   
"You have to stay out here, miss.” Kara instantly sees red and is about to start yelling when a firm hand falls on her shoulder. She turns to see Henshaw glowering at the man.  
   
"It's fine. She can go in."  
   
He apparently carries authority here as the man immediately steps aside and she is allowed to go with Alex into the medical bay.

 

* * *

 

Coming here was a life saver, they inform her after running multiple tests on Alex. Brain swelling from the injury has escalated to a dangerous level that required immediate surgery. The small country hospital she had originally been taken to really didn’t have the necessary equipment to handle Alex’s case, but this facility is fully prepared to begin surgery.

They tell her everything is going to be okay.

She isn't able to go into the final surgical room with her sister but Henshaw allows her to wait in the hallway. That's fine with her though as she can watch everything with her X-ray vision, seemingly oblivious to the strange looks doctors were giving her for standing, unmoving, staring at a wall. It’s painful to watch. It’s terrifying, watching strangers cut into her sister like that, but she has to believe this is helping. Henshaw stands nearby, not touching her like before but not far enough away to seem unintentional. His presence is comforting even if he is a stranger. It’s nice to not feel so alone right now.

The surgery lasts six hours due to complications, and by the end of it there are two hand shaped indents in the wall outside of her surgical room. It took all of Kara’s inner strength not to push all the way through and grab her sister right off the table. “Trust them,” Henshaw told her, but not moving to stop her, “we’re going to take care of you both now.” In that moment she feels all of the pain of her fifteen years and finally, finally allows herself to cry.

 

* * *

  
Alex wakes up three days later.

It feels like an elephant decided to tap dance right on her cranium and there are spots in her vision while she adjusts to the harsh lighting of the hospital room. A rush of anxiety hits her - _where am I?_ \- but she feels herself relaxing a bit when she sees Kara perched in a chair by her bed, her head lulled to the side in sleep.

She tries to say her name but all that happens is a hoarse whisper (her mouth is so dry and it feels like she hasn’t spoken in years) but the tiny sound is enough to wake her. Kara bolts upright and immediately grabs her hand with a gasp.  
  
  “Hey, sweetie,” she says, her voice unnaturally high, and Alex knows it must be really bad because Kara never calls her sweetie. She tries to sit up but Kara holds her down with a firm but gentle hand.  
  
“No no, you’re still recovering from surgery. Don’t move.” Kara can see the question in her eyes and says, “you got hit in the head pretty badly, but you’re okay now. You just need to rest.”

Alex doesn’t really remember what happened but she seems to be safe and Kara is here telling her everything’s okay. For her, that’s enough. She closes her eyes and falls back asleep.  
  
Consciousness comes and goes over the next week, but every time she comes back Kara is still sitting there by her side. Her thinking is a little slow right now (Kara says it’s from the surgery she apparently had) but Kara feeds her small details about what happened. They were jumped, she got hurt, now she’s safe. Any questions about their attackers are painfully deflected, and Alex stops asking. It doesn’t matter. They’re safe and they’re together. That’s the only thing she ever really cares about.

Kara is definitely not telling her something else, though, she can see it in her jittery eyes and flamboyant gestures. Something is going on outside of this hospital room, something that involves the both of them, and she wants to know what the hell it is. Why hasn’t their social worker visited yet? Why is this hospital so quiet? It feels like she’s the only patient in the whole building. And it may be the head injury, but she’s pretty sure she’s never seen half the outfits Kara has been wearing this week. Where is she getting these clothes from?  

Kara deflects and deflects and deflects, but Alex is nothing if not persistent and inevitably her sister’s wall crumbles.  
   
“Okay, so,” deep breath, “some things have changed since you’ve been out.”

She pauses, but Alex just raises her eyebrows expectantly. _Go on_. Kara sighs.  
  
 “We’ve, uh, we’ve actually been….. adopted." She tries to keep her voice steady but it's kind of hard to do that when you're starting to cry. Alex immediately goes into Big Sister Mode and grabs her hand. Kara smiles at the contact. It’s so nice to have Alex back.  
   
“Okay, well that’s a good thing, right?” Kara doesn’t say anything. “Who adopted us?" She speaks slowly, keeping her voice level. She has to be calm one right now it seems. Kara sighs before gesturing to the hospital room like it’s obvious.  
   
“The, uh, the government.”  
   
“The government,” it’s a flat, skeptical statement. Tears finally break and slide down Kara’s face.    
  
“They found us because I,” a haggard breath, “I used my powers to fight off our attackers, and it got out of hand and- and they knew exactly who I was and where I’m from.”

Alex sits up so suddenly at that only to recoil back in pain, her head feeling like a bomb had detonated right at the base of her skull. Kara jumps out of her seat and grabs her, trying to calm her down, but Alex keeps trying to get back up.

  “Kara we have to leave now, i-if they know then we’re not safe. We have to go, Kara!”

Their struggle is interrupted by Henshaw’s entrance.  

“Miss Danvers, it’s dangerous for you to be moving like that.”  

Alex’s face falls into a hard, angry expression. Big Sister Mode just upgraded to high alert.  
  
  “Who the hell are you?” she spits out, and Kara flashes Henshaw an apologetic look. He just smirks.    
  
“My name is Director Henshaw, I’m the person who saved your life.”

 

* * *

   
Alex isn’t receptive to him at first.

She argues and growls out rebuttals at everything, but it’s like he knows exactly what she’s thinking before she says it. Every fear and doubt she has he addresses before she even says a word, and reluctantly he persuades her. Kara beams at her, grabs her hand and laces their fingers together drawing a reluctant smile from Alex. She doesn't totally understand what this means for them or what is coming next, but Kara is smiling at her with that sparkle in her eyes and really, as long as the two of them are together it’ll be enough. 

Gradually they learn about where they are and what’s going on. They learn about the Department of Extra-Normal Operations. They learn about how important the work the DEO does is for the world, how they are the one thing keeping humanity safe from the real threats that face it. They learn what roles they will play, now that they are a part of that organization. Kara learns that she can do work that helps people, that makes the world a better place. She finds a mission to live for again.  
  
 And really, life with the DEO isn’t so bad. They live in a two bed shared dormitory room within the facility. Its plain and militaristic, but after some careful persuading and puppy dog eyes from Kara they are able to convince Henshaw to buy some posters to hang on the walls. Alex covers her side of the room with scenic shots of forests and landscapes (it’s been weeks since they were allowed outside and she really misses the sight of anything that isn’t grey). Kara covers her wall with playbills from her favorite musicals and plays. She’s sad that she won’t get to audition for that school play she was so excited for, but Director Henshaw assures her that she will have lots of acting opportunities in her future.

It takes time for Alex to recover, so she spends the majority of her days resting in her bed or sitting at the sidelines watching Kara train. That’s all they do here, really. They train and train and train. The people in charge know all about Kara’s abilities and how they work, in ways she doesn’t even know, and they spend hours on end running exercises to teach her better self control. They train their minds as well, much to Alex’s disdain, but sitting in a class of just her and Kara is infinitely better than their public school experiences. Their teacher is sharp and harsh, and they both find themselves learning more than they’ve ever learned before under his guidance.

And it's hard work and long hours but Kara hasn't been this happy since before the Danvers died. It's just so nice to finally have some guidance on her abilities after struggling alone for so long. Finally she has someone to look to who knows who she is and wants her to actually use her strengths rather than hide them. They know her origins, they know the Danvers. They know about The Incident _(she can still smell the burning flesh and hear the thud of bones breaking and if she thinks too long on it the screams come back_ ). She’s too afraid to ask what happened to the boys, too afraid of the answer. Regardless, they know what monstrous things she’s capable of, and yet they still see potential in her. For the first time since she found out Kal-El had grown up without her she feels like she has a purpose.

After two months at the facility she finally asks about him. She’s been stewing on it, mulling over how they could know so much about her already, and the only answer she can think of is her cousin. This is the first time in a long time that she’s mentioned him out loud, although she thinks about him almost every day. Even after feeling so abandoned for so long she still thinks about him.

They confirm that they do know him and have worked with him before. That’s where they got all their information on Krypton and her powers. She asks if there’s any way they could contact him on her behalf, if they could arrange for them to talk. Henshaw looks pained at the request and simply says he will see what he can do. He never mentions it after that, though, and it’s a long time before she works up the nerve to ask again.

Instead she throws herself into her studies and training with Alex joining her once she’s fully healed. They work hard together. Kara is able to almost fully master her abilities as well as her academic studies, graduating from their version of high school a year early. Alex excels at science and, through a very important reference from a government official, is accepted to a top scientific university. She attends and leaves their small little world for a while. Her years of DEO life make college somewhat suffocating and she desperately misses Kara, so she’s thankful when she graduates and can come back home. Her education is fully paid for by the government in exchange for a guarantee of services, and she has a job at the DEO waiting for her. Kara is not far behind, although she instead chooses to major in Theater, finally getting a chance to act. These skills come in handy when she graduates as her role within the DEO requires frequent acting. She makes a perfect spy.  
  
 Immediately after graduation they’re placed on a new team headed by Director Henshaw himself. Here they meet Winn Schott, an awkward but kind computer specialist who was also a foster child raised in DEO training, although at another facility they've never heard of (their team is quickly nicknamed Orphan Squad by the other agents). Kara can’t help but wonder how many of them are out there, these children raised to be spies and warriors. She doesn’t really dwell on it, though, not when there are crimes to solve and intergalactic criminals to detain. And they work well together, the three of them, with Kara’s strength and Alex’s bravery and Winn’s technological insight. They quickly become the A-team within the facility.

This prestige is what lands them the biggest case they agency has ever faced.  

 

* * *

  
“CatCo? What the hell is CatCo?” Alex drawls, staring at the file in front of her. This mission looks extensive and she’s weary about the potential commitment ahead.  
  
“You haven’t heard of CatCo?” Winn’s voice is thick with shock and horror, “It’s only the biggest media corporation in the country! Maybe the world!”     
  
“Hmm. Not a big fan of media,” Alex responds with an eye roll. They work well together in the field but Alex sometimes finds Winn’s enthusiasm for all things nerdy grating. Kara, always trying to keep the peace, pushes their focus back on the task.    
  
“Why are we infiltrating CatCo, Director?”    
  
Henshaw, who has been watching quietly this whole time with limited interest, is pleased to have the attention back on their mission.    
  
“Our intelligence suggests that the terrorist group Eco-Now is planning an attack on the company’s headquarters within the next few months. We aren’t sure if it will be a technological or physical assault, but we know they are planning to take control of the media outlet in order to spread their message globally.”

“That’s all well and good, Director, but what does that have to do with us? Why isn’t the FBI on this?” Alex asks.

“We have reason to believe they are being led by some of the escaped Kryptonians from Fort Rozz.”   Everyone in the room immediately tenses up at this. Kara smiles softly, shaking her head to tell them to relax. It’s been three months since their arrival - the arrival of more people like her - and everyone is always walking on eggshells around her whenever they’re mentioned. They shouldn’t, she assures them, because while they may share a home planet those people are nothing like her. She’s a soldier for good, she works and fights and schemes to protect this planet. They are here to cause mayhem and destruction. They are nothing like her.

“So what do we need to do?” Kara asks, breaking the tension. Henshaw passes them each a packet with their role description.  
  
  “Alex, there is a protest scheduled against global fracking next Wednesday. We have reason to believe Eco-Now members will be in attendance. You are going to attend and hopefully establish contact. You will be our offensive front.”  
  
 Alex laughs, looking over the character description in her packet. “So I’m a free-love hippie type? Right on.”     
  
“Kara and Winn, you two will be on the defense. CatCo global has an open IT position available on its main business floor.” Winn pumps his fist up, excited.  
  
  “Alright! Finally something I can actually put on my resume!”   He smiles at Henshaw who just stares back, annoyed. Alex rolls her eyes but Kara mercifully flashes him a grin, and that’s enough to satisfy him.  
  
 “What about me?” Kara asks. Henshaw sighs, wiping his eyes slowly.  “Your position is the hardest and the most crucial. We have reason to believe the CEO of CatCo - Cat Grant - is a primary target and may be in danger. You will be going in to make sure she remains safe.”  

“So, like a body guard?”

“An assistant actually. She conveniently just fired her last one. Your interview is on Monday.”   Kara smiles, confused by his grim face.  

“That’s great!” her smile falters, “That is great, right?”  

Henshaw hums noncommittally. He’s met Cat Grant multiple times and he’s seen the way she treats her subordinates.  

“It’ll certainly be interesting,” he finally says. Kara still smiles at that and he almost feels guilty for throwing her into the lion’s den, but he’s seen the young girl on the field before. She’s a lot stronger than she seems, and if anyone could handle the might that is Cat Grant it’s Kara.

"It'll be very, very interesting."


	2. Set the Kindling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Job interviews aren't easy if your boss can see through your bullshit. 
> 
> Cat meets Kara, Kara meets Carter, Chaos ensues.

Kara is _so_ prepared for this interview. 

She spent every waking second of the weekend pouring over article after article by and about one Cat Grant. She's watched videos of the older woman on the news, of her accepting awards, her being followed by the paparazzi. Kara finds blog posts written by angry former employees and keeps a running list of all the horrible words used to describe Miss Grant.

 So far she has:  
_Despicable_  
vile  
cut-throat soul eater  
evil, and - Kara's personal favorite - _Demonic she-beast from another planet._

Cat Grant is definitely an interesting woman, and Kara is thrilled to meet her face-to-face. She's played the secretary role before and always found it boring, but those roles were never under someone as controversial as Cat Grant. Kara is nothing if not a professional when it comes to her acting and the opportunity to stretch her creative muscle and really dedicate herself to a mission is so exciting. This is going to possibly be her hardest role yet. 

She arrives twenty minutes early to allow her a little time to scope out the office and take note of any weak points. Her mission is to find out what Cat Grant knows, but it's also vital she keep her safe. 

Kiera. 

That’s her name on this mission.

Kiera Shaw, recent college graduate with a double major in Journalism and Business Management. She’s from Washington, moved to National City after graduating college. She interned at her collegiate newspaper for the last two years of her degree and holds four different journalist awards and recognitions.

None of this actually happened, of course, but its all on record in case anyone checks her background. Winn spent hours on his computers building a perfect history for Kara, going so far as to create fake elementary school records for her. Three days ago, Kiera Shaw didn’t exist. Today, she’s interviewing for a job at CatCo.

 _What a time to be alive_.

Kara approaches the front desk in the lobby, confident and prepared. 

“Hi! My name is Kiera Shaw. I'm here for an interview with Miss Grant." 

The front desk worker glances at the clock and clicks her tongue.

“For the assistant spot? You’re late."

Kara frowns. She double checks her phone to make sure she isn't crazy.

"I'm 20 minutes early." 

The worker just hums quietly and hands her a visitors pass.

"Elevator is to the right. Floor 18."

Kara forces herself to refocus on the elevator ride up. She’s fine, she’s early and everything is fine. She arrives at her floor and walks out to find a large bullpen full of desks and workers running around. Kara canvases the room, taking in all the faces. She makes a mental note to run background checks on all of them. One familiar face jumps out at her, though, and she walks up to see Winn seated at a desk of his own. His IT job has already started.  
  
“Excuse me, sir, do you know where I could find Cat Grant?” Her face is neutral but he can hear the smile in her voice. He shoots her an affectionate look before pointing hesitantly at the giant glass office near him. Of course, Cat Grant would have nothing less.  

“Be careful,” he whispers through a forced smile, his voice so low no normal human could detect it. “She’s a lot.” Kara nods, takes a deep breath, and approaches the office. She knocks gently on the glass wall and the woman inside waves a hand at her to come in.

“Hi, I’m Kier-”

“You’re late,” she cuts off before Kara can finish the thought. 

The woman doesn’t even look up at her. Kara falters for just a moment, glancing at her watch again.  
  
“I’m… 20 minutes early?” Her questioning tone seems to anger the older woman, whose head snaps up immediately.  
  
“I know you’re fresh and new to the big bad world of employment, but here at CatCo I expect my employees to be at least thirty minutes early for their shifts which means by my standards you are _late._ Now sit down.”

Kara sits nervously on the couch. She fidgets, adjusting her skirt, and then wonders when she suddenly started fidgeting. That’s not part of her role. She needs to calm down. She’s an elite agent in an intergalactic paramilitary organization. She can handle an interview for an entry level job.  
  
“So Kiera,” Miss Grant drawls, still looking at her computer with little interest for the girl she’s interviewing, “this is the part where you tell me all the reasons you think you somehow deserve to work for me. Go.”

Kara takes a breath to relax and then allows herself to fall into her new role. _She’s got this._  

* * *

“You’re lying.”

_Okay, so maybe she doesn't got this._

Miss Grant had sat unmoving while Kara smoothly laid out her skills and experience, why she was by far the most qualified human being on Earth to work this job, and why really Cat Grant would be missing out if she didn’t hire her. She talked for almost ten minutes, smiling and charming, without Miss Grant even glancing at her once. And now, at the end of her carefully mapped out spiel, the only thing Miss Grant can say is _you’re lying_? Shit.

“I… I’m sorry?”

Miss Grant rolls her eyes and speaks slowly, as if Kara is too dim to catch words at a normal pace.

“Do you know what it's like to be powerful, Kiera?” 

Kara immediately thinks of the time she breathed in dust and sneezed, resulting in the shattering of every glass object in a ten foot radius.  

“I can't say I do, Miss Grant.”

Cat hums.

“Power breeds inauthenticity. Every person that meets someone with power tries to adapt and lie and twist their way into their good graces. Believe me, it’s exhausting to deal with.” She wrinkles her nose. “You’re doing that right now and quite frankly you're doing a terrible job at it.” 

This didn’t make sense. Kara has spent _years_ of her life studying acting, she’s played hundreds of distinct roles in her career with the DEO. She has taken on the personality of every type of person on this planet and no one has ever, not once, caught her in the act.  
  
“Leave,” Cat says with a wave. “You are not what I’m looking for.”  
  
Kara stares at her, mouth hanging open, before slowly turning and walking to the door. What the hell just happened? It didn’t make sense. She did everything right, she researched and compiled every piece of data she could find on Cat Grant. She said all the right things. How did she not get the job? _Holy shit, she didn’t get the job._  

Panic sets in.

she _has_ to get this job. It’s vital that she’s on the premises over the next few months to protect it from any potential terrorist attacks, and there’s no way she could come in and work as some janitor or secretary here without Miss Grant noticing her straight away. The only option she has is to get this job.

She whips around and marches herself back into the glass office, steeling herself emotionally. Miss Grant huffs, “Oh please, am I going to have to call security on you?”  
  
“I need this job, Miss Grant!” 

She says it almost at a yell, which surprises both of them, and she makes an effort to adjust her volume. 

“I _need_ this job. W-what do I need to do to get it?” and dammit, she’s stuttering for the first time in seven years. It’s like she’s a teenager again trying to figure out what it means to act human. Standing in front of this woman feels like unraveling her carefully built identity piece-by-piece back to her core self.   

_(She’s not a big fan of her core self)_

  
“Tell me the truth without the charade. Why do you deserve this job over anyone else?”

“I want to be stronger.”

That is definitely not what she meant to say, and she can tell its not what Miss Grant expected. Still, she pushes on in a fast, rushed voice, 

“I have never met anyone like you, you… you’re so _mean_ and y-you’re so rude and you say exactly what you think whenever you think it!” Fire ignites in Miss Grant’s eyes, and Kara pushes on quickly, “And you’re so successful and powerful because of it, and I don’t,” Kara stutters - _where are these words coming from?_ \- “I didn’t know that kind of thing was possible.” 

And it’s the truth. Kara didn’t know it was possible to be so genuine all the time, especially when that genuine self was so abrasive. Cat Grant is like no one Kara has ever met before.

Miss Grant just stares at her, saying nothing. Her face is unreadable. Kara continues.

“I want this job because I want to make a difference, and working for someone like you could be that difference.” And it’s not a lie; she wants to make a difference by stopping a terrorist attack on the largest media corporation in the region. She wants to protect this harsh woman. 

 “I want to learn to be like you. I want-,” her face is so red now, she can feel it, and her hands are shaking. She really feels like a teenager again, “I want to be stronger, and I will work hard for you every single day to do it.”

She’s never felt so raw before; it’s exhilarating. She hasn’t felt this terrified in so long _(she’s almost forgotten what it feels like to be scared)_. Being super strong physically can make a lot of things less scary, but no amount of physical prowess can get her out of this situation. Kara herself, the girl inside the indestructible body, has to do that. It’s terrifying, and she’s never felt more alive.

Miss Grant scans her entire body with her eyes, slowly, calculating, and Kara tries to control her twitching. Finally, she speaks.

“I am not an easy person to work for.” It’s stated as a fact, no apology in her voice.  
  
“I c-can handle it.” She stutters, but her voice is strong. There’s a charge in the room, they can both feel it, and Kara isn’t sure how to interpret it because all she can focus on is the unreadable depth of Cat Grant’s eyes sizing her up. She’s never felt so small, _so powerless_ , in all her time on Earth, but she’s not afraid of the challenge there. She kind of likes the feeling.  
  
“You start tomorrow at 7:30. I trust you can figure out how to be here on time. If you can’t then please, don’t bother showing up at all.”  
  
Kara lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding and beams at Cat, a genuine smile she hasn’t given anyone in a long time. Cat rolls her eyes and dismisses her with a wave.  
  
Kara tries her best not to skip on her way to the elevator.

* * *

Kara has successfully completed over 325 operations in her 9 years with the DEO. She's stormed terrorist outposts, gone head-to-head with intergalactic genocidal creatures. Kara once had a Kryptonite knife pressing toward her throat in the middle of a battle and she was still able to calmly disarm and detain her opponent with only a few scratches. Kara Danvers is a warrior, a career soldier, and she's faced threats the average person couldn't even dream of.

And yet no one has ever terrified her as intensely as Cat Grant. Nor worked her as hard. 

Within the first hour of her first day at the office Kara has fielded seven phone calls, met a third of the building through awkward confrontational requests [ _Um, hi, I’m Miss Grant’s new assistant and she told me to tell you to, uh, have the report ready by 10 or she would u-um… castrate you? Sorry it was really nice to meet you!!]_ , and she’s been screamed at no less than eighty two times by Miss Grant. The shrill cry of “KIERA” echoes constantly through the hallways and Kara barely has time to breathe let alone think. By noon she’s pretty sure she’s going to die from anxiety alone.  

“Kiera!” Winn calls as she sprints by his desk for the thirtieth time, “Have you eaten lunch?” 

Kara responds with a pained moan but doesn’t stop moving. She can’t stop, not when Miss Grant has 213 more things on her first day To Do List. All Kara can do is _go go go._

She races back down the hallway to pass off two more papers and make her way back to Miss Grant’s office and she thanks all the gods of Krypton and Earth when she sees Winn standing in the hall with an unwrapped granola bar in his hand. She can’t stop so he just holds it up to her mouth for her to grab with her teeth without slowing down a second. He accepts a garbled _“I love you”_ as thanks and makes a mental note to bring a bunch of small, portable snack foods for Kara in the future. She devours the bar before she even reaches the end of the hall. 

Her nine hour work day feels like forty, and Kara has never been more thankful for a day to end. She manages to stay standing tall long enough for Miss Grant’s exit. The older woman glances up from her phone briefly to say, “You survived day one. Congratulations,”  before continuing on without another word. The second her elevator doors close Kara collapses at her desk with a groan.   
  
Winn rolls next to her in his chair.

 “How ya feeling, champ?” 

All she can manage is a small whimpering sound and he pats her head sympathetically.

“Are you sure we can’t just let the terrorists get her?” she mumbles, defeat and exhaustion in her voice. He laughs.

 “Sadly no, we can’t let the terrorists get her.”  
  
“Damn. That means I have to come to work tomorrow.”

* * *

 Slowly, things get better. 

It never stops being terrifying, of course. That anxious thrill of insecurity never really goes away. All of her notes on Kiera Shaw are scrapped that first day and Kara is left with a blank slate. She has a role to fill but no character to play; Miss Grant sees through every one of her lies every single time. Honesty is the only option, and it’s _terrifying._  
  
But things do get better.

Kara learns how to balance her thousands of tasks and expectations. Spies are taught to observe everything, to read the room and think on their feet. Slowly the insanity that is Cat Grant becomes more readable. Kara starts to see the patterns. 

On Wednesdays Miss Grant always arrives thirty minutes late with no explanation, but she’s always in a better mood than usual. Wednesdays are Kara’s favorite days and Kara makes sure to plan the particularly rough meetings then. Thursdays tend to be bad mood days, so she keeps the schedule light and as positive as she can.

When something important is coming up Miss Grant always prefers a lighter lunch; meaty lunches when she’s feeling victorious. She learns this after watching Miss Grant dominate a meeting and nearly make one of their executive board members cry. Immediately afterwards she wanted a prime rib for lunch. Kara had to admit the gleam in Miss Grant’s eyes as she shredded the arrogant man made her feel an excitement she usually only feels in the middle of battle. Watching Miss Grant work is like watching an elite soldier go to war. Kara ignores the other feelings the sight gives her. She needs to be a professional, after all. 

They fall into a rhythm. 

Kara learns to anticipate anything Miss Grant might need every day and have it ready before she even asks. At night Kara sits in her bedroom making lists of scenarios that may happen and what she will need to do to help the most. Her attention to detail makes everything run so smoothly that one day Miss Grant even compliments her for it (well, as much as “if you focused on your wardrobe as intensely as you do my schedule you might actually look presentable” is a compliment).

Her days stop feeling so chaotic and bad.  
  
She kind of likes working at CatCo, and really she’s just happy she didn’t get stuck with Alex’s job.  
  
Infiltrating and destroying terrorist organizations has always been so fun in the past, but this Eco-Now situation is a nightmare. Alex had managed to make contact with the right people and has slowly been worming her way up the ranks, but everything is kept absolutely secret. No one knows where they are going until they are on the way. Alex’s Eco-Now handlers pick her up from her apartment in the mornings and drive her to whatever protest or meeting they have. She never knows where she’s going, who she will meet, or what they will do. So far they haven’t made her do anything illegal (they seem to be testing her willingness) but it’s getting more and more obvious that they are planning something big. Eventually.

They have no choice but to keep working at CatCo until further notice. What should have been a few weeks to months mission is starting to drag on and on. Soon it starts to seem less like a mission and more like a day job. Sometimes Kara forgets she isn’t _really_ Miss Grant’s assistant, she forgets that this job will come to an end. She starts to appreciate the familiarity of Miss Grant’s quirks, even if they are harsh and dramatic. There’s a charm to them and honestly Kara appreciates the sincerity of it all.   
  
Each month flows into the next and time continues marching on.

* * *

There is something off about her assistant.

It’s not just that she’s lasted for more than a month without having any sort of public meltdown, although that is definitely an unusual turn of events. Honestly she didn’t expect the girl to last a week, let alone five. She is so twitchy and nervous around Cat it’s shocking she can even function, let alone function so damn well.

No, there is definitely something deeper to her assistant than what meets the eye. 

Cat watches her every day from afar, watches how she moves and talks and _exists_. How she acts around others is vastly different than how she acts around her. The twitches go away, the stuttering. She’s all silky smooth charm and smiles that everyone just eats up, and Cat can tell that every word she says is a lie. 

What tipped her off to it she has no idea, but she can’t unsee it. There’s just something so practiced about her movements, like everything about her is hyper rehearsed. It’s like she’s an actor in her own life. It’s fascinating to watch.

Cat called her out on it immediately, of course, and she had delighted in watching the girl squirm. Without her bullshit protecting her the younger girl was really a mess, but she was a functioning mess who knew how to follow orders so Cat decided to give her a shot.  
  
You can say a lot of things about Cat Grant, but you can’t say she isn’t charitable.

Still, even breaking down the act there is still something more there. Sometimes Kiera will stop working and just gaze at a wall, eyes clouded over, and in those moments she doesn’t look like a freshly graduated 20-something. No, she looks like someone who has seen so much more than her years should have allowed. There’s a weariness in her eyes, one Cat hasn’t seen much in this city. It intrigues her, and maybe that’s why she keeps her around.

It’s definitely not her ridiculous smile, though. _That_ Cat absolutely loathes. Every single day Kiera comes in with that damn cheerful smile, rain or shine, and no matter what terribleness Cat throws at her it never goes away. The worst part is that it happens even amongst her twitching and stuttering - it’s not part of the act she performs for everyone else. She really is just a happy person. Cat hates that. Definitely hates it. 

And if sometimes she instinctively smiles softly at the sight of that unashamed happiness it’s an accident. She would rather die than let a subordinate know her smile was contagious. Especially not a subordinate who dresses like a kindergarten teacher on steroids. Honestly, how could one person own so many cardigans in every color except an acceptable one? Sometimes she gets a headache from the glare of Kiera’s neon attire. There’s definitely nothing cute about it. _Nothing.  
_  
Because she’s Cat Grant, for goodness sake. Cat Grant doesn’t find anything cute, let alone her bumbling lying mess of an assistant ( _who is half your age,_ she mentally adds). Oh no, the girl is definitely not cute and any feelings that may bubble up inside her at the sight of the younger girl are to be completely disregarded. 

She’s able to ignore them completely, in fact, until the damn girl meets Carter. 

* * *

Kara meets Carter four months into her job.

The young boy is so much like Kara once was that it frightens her. Watching him is like watching herself during those first few years on Earth: gawky and awkward and socially confused. He stutters, shuffles, avoids eye contact and turns beet red if you stare too long. Holding a conversation for more than two sentences is painful. Physical contact is not an option.  
  
Honestly, it’s like a male version of her teenage self.

Perhaps it is their shared teen discomfort that draws Carter to her ( _and, okay, maybe it’s a little obvious he think she’s pretty)_ but she quickly becomes the only person at the office he will talk to other than his mother. Whenever Cat is off saving the world through journalism Carter sits with Kara at her desk and plays on his gameboy while she works. They talk a bit but mostly enjoy a comfortable silence. She gets it; she gets him. She knows what it feels like to be a fish out of water in your own life.  
  
Chess is his theater she discovers one day while he’s visiting her desk. When she was his age all she could think or talk or dream about was this play or that musical, and it was that single-minded passion for something that allowed her to even function daily. Without it she would have gone crazy dealing with all of her problems every day. For Carter, his release is chess. If you want to get him talking, ask him about what’s happening in his school’s chess club and just watch his face light up. 

Kara uses that exact technique to distract him now.

It’s a chaotic day, which is why Carter is even still at the office in the first place. Usually he comes for a few minutes while his mom finishes working and hangs out with Kara, and then the two go off for their weekly dinner and movie night. Work is crazy, though, so Cat and Kara diligently try to wrap up everything. Cat sits at her desk, typing away, while Kara works on her tablet on the couch with Carter, who seems oblivious to the two women’s concentration. He just rambles away.

“-And since their coach was a professional player everyone thinks we can’t beat ‘em, but I know we can! It’s going to be our biggest competition ever!” he looks back and forth between the two working women. Miss Grant makes a small noise of acknowledgement and Kara flashes him a quick smile.  
  
“That’s awesome, buddy,” she doesn’t take her eyes off the tablet, “When is this competition?”  
  
“It’s Saturday! You’re gonna be there, right mom?” He turns to his mother, who finally stops working to give him full attention. Her automatic smile falters.  
  
“Oh, honey, one of the corporate big shots is flying into town that day for meetings. It’s probably going to be an all day affair.”  
  
Instantly Carter deflates, crumbling back into the couch. Kara cringes but tries not to look. Seeing that familiar look is too painful; she remembers the many times she invited people from the foster home to see her performances. Alex was always the only one who showed up, and even then it wasn’t every time. It hurts, and she hurts for him.

 “I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” there’s such sadness in her voice, “I promise I’ll make it to the next one.”  

Carter’s mumbled _this is the last one_ is just quiet enough for Miss Grant to miss, but Kara catches it. That look of utter dejection seals the deal for her heart. She can’t just watch someone suffer the way she did, not when she could help it.

Which is why that Saturday she finds herself sitting in the mostly empty bleachers of the high school gymnasium holding a sign that says, “GO CARTER GO”. 

Sure, her day job at CatCo doesn’t include going to her boss’ son’s chess competition, and maybe this is crossing the line between professional and personal, but she can’t just let a sweet kid like Carter be alone on his big day. She’s spent too many big days alone in her life. It hurts, and she doesn’t want that for Carter. Besides, there is little work to do at the DEO these days. Eco-Now has been extremely quiet and Alex thinks they might be backing down. Hank would have a conniption if he knew she was doing this, tell her she’s outside of her mission parameters, order her to come train. She can’t train though, she knows she’d never be able to concentrate knowing Carter was here alone. What Hank doesn’t know won’t hurt him.  
  
There are less than a dozen other people in the stands with her so when the contestants all file in Carter spots her immediately. She lets out a low whistle and cheer, holding her sign up, and she can see his face and neck turn bright red from the attention. But he’s smiling - a huge, unabashed smile - and that’s enough for her to know she’s doing the right thing. He throws her a timid little wave before turning his eyes to his chess board.  

Kara has no idea what is happening so she just focuses on Carter’s face. Every time he does a little smile or smug Grant smirk (this child looks so much like his mother) Kara lets out a cheer, only to be shushed by one of the attending moderators. Carter’s face turns a slightly darker shade of red every time she does, but his smile beams and he sits a little straighter and if the price for making him smile is her getting kicked out of a high school chess competition she’ll pay it gladly.

She’s so focused on watching Carter that she doesn’t realize someone has slipped into the seat next to her until they’re touching her arm. She jumps a little and turns, only to find Cat Grant sitting next to her looking at her quizzically.  
  
“What are you doing here?” There’s no hostility in her voice, just surprise. Kara shrugs sheepishly and gestures towards Carter.  
  
“I know what its like to have no one in the stands for you. I didn’t want Carter to have to go through it.” 

Miss Grant is staring at her with those damn unreadable eyes and Kara feels a blush start to creep up under the scrutiny. It’s amazing, this whole blushing thing. It’s been happening more and more around since that first interview. Before that she rarely blushed, almost always in control of her emotions while on a mission. What is it about this woman that can instantly destroy all those years of training? Why does she make Kara turn into a wet noodle at just a glance? 

Thankfully Miss Grant shifts her focus away at last, turning instead to look at her son. He’s so concentrated on his game he hasn’t noticed her arrival. They’re reaching the end of the competition, and they can see the sweat on Carter’s face, his eyes bright and shining even under the dull gymnasium lights. He is fully in his zone and Cat has never seen her son look more engaged. 

He makes a move and very quietly says, ‘checkmate’. Kara may not know much about chess, but she knows what that means and she can’t help but erupt in a loud cheer, waving her sign in the air until the moderator once again shushes her [ _Ma’am, I’m not gonna tell you again. This is an eighth grade chess competition. Please don’t make me call security on you.’]_

Carter beams at her, holding his fists in the air in response, and his smile only brightens when he sees his mom sitting next to her. Miss Grant claps along with Kara’s cheer and glances between her ecstatic son and her ecstatic assistant and Kara can practically hear her thinking “how the hell did this happen?”

Carter insists Kara comes to lunch with them to celebrate. Kara sends a panicked look to Miss Grant, whose face remains as unreadable as ever. After a moment’s pause she says, “Only if Kiera wants to,” and really, could Kara possibly say no to Carter’s puppy dog eyes? He could give her a run for her money.

And that’s how she finds herself sitting somewhat awkwardly in a restaurant far out of her budget with an eager teenager and her boss. Luckily Carter fills in the silence with his excitement _[-Can you believe that blunder? I thought I’d never recover! And did you see the look on his face?? -]_ and while she is proficient in many things chess is not one of them so Kara does her best to respond with the appropriate emotion at the appropriate time and try not to pay attention to the way her boss is staring at her.  
  
From the second they sat down in the restaurant she’s been staring at her with that same expressionless gaze, the one thing about Cat Grant Kara can never quite decipher. She can read her walk, she can read the anger in her stance, and she can tell by her tone just what it is she wants. But her eyes? Those are a mystery to her, and Kara wishes she had had teachers like Miss Grant during her theatrical training. Maintaining that much composure at all times would be such a gift.

After lunch Miss Grant insists on buying them treats to really celebrate Carter’s total domination of his foes and they wait outside while she’s inside the store. She comes out with a freshly baked cookie for Carter, a latte for herself, and most surprising of all Kara’s exact coffee order she gets herself every morning, down to the cinnamon she sprinkles on top. Kara is amazed and alarmed.  
  
“How d-did you know my coffee order?” she tries not to stutter, but it’s hard not to when someone sees something real for her. How does she keep doing things like this?  
  
“I’m more observant than you realize, Kiera.”

And there’s that feeling again, that charge that builds like static energy when they are together. They linger there, eyes locked. Something unspoken passes between them, something neither is willing to acknowledge or address. 

They’re so frozen in their owned shared moment they don’t notice the van approaching until its already screeching to a stop next to them, and before Kara’s super speed can kick in the door is flung up and a masked figure inside the van is grabbing Carter and dragging him inside.

Carter’s scream is enough to throw her into action, and without even thinking she’s leapt into the back of the van after them. She can hear Miss Grant screaming outside, beating on the van door as it starts to peel away from the curb, but all she can focus on is prying the masked assailant’s hands off of Carter.  
  
She uses a little more force than necessary to shove the attacker to the back of the van and he hits the metal side with a loud THUD ( _she hopes it hurt_ ). She immediately turns her focus to the driver, who is now careening down a side street. Kara grabs the driver’s shoulder and is about to punch them when they slam on the breaks, throwing them all forward. They skid to a stop, and Kara makes eye contact with the masked driver in the mirror. Even under the ski mask she knows; she would know those eyes anywhere.  
  
It all happens so quickly.  
  
“Alex,” she breathes out, and her sister gives the smallest nod of acknowledgement. Her eyes dart from Kara’s to just above the rearview mirror, and Kara immediately recognizes the small flashing light of a camera. She looks back at Alex. The woman gives another tiny nod and moves as if she is going to strike her. Taking as much care as she can to be gentle, Kara punches her sister in the face. Alex reels forward and hits the steering wheel, dazed.  
  
Kara doesn’t waste any time, grabbing Carter’s hand _(his face is tear stained and he looks so afraid, so small)_ and she drags him out of the van.  
  
“Run, Carter!” she yells, dragging him behind her. She wants so desperately to fly but she can’t, not now, not like this, and so instead she runs as slowly as she can with Carter tripping and stumbling behind her. 

Looks like things were picking up with Eco-Now after all.


	3. Light the Match

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the late update. Life has been a mess. Recently had a motorcycle and trailer stolen. Lexa died. Everything's a disaster. Enjoy the chapter!

This has been the worst day Cat Grant has experienced in a long time, with its terribly droll beginning that fed into a wonderful middle only to turn horrific by the end. Her meeting at work had been as terrible as she’d anticipated it being, but luckily the executive had decided to wrap things up early enough for her to still swing by Carter’s competition.

Imagine her surprise when she arrived to find her annoying, lying assistant in the stands cheering for her son. Who did she think she was, standing there in her hideous little cardigan holding a poorly made sign with her son’s name on it? How dare she push her way into their lives like that, step in to fill the spot left by Cat’s absence? Who did she think she was, making Cat’s chest tighten and a deep feeling of warmth spread across her body? Who was this girl to make her feel this way?

Cat wanted to be angry, wanted to snap at the girl as she sat down next to her, but a quick glance at the absolute joy radiating from her son stopped her. Carter only looked that open when it was the two of them, locked away in their apartment together. For him to be smiling like that - with an audience, no less - spoke volumes. Carter glanced up and smiled that beautiful smile of his directly at Kiera before spotting her as well. He looked so happy, so incredibly happy to have both women there, and dammit how on Earth had she gotten herself into this mess?

So of course she took them both to lunch, how could she not? Her love for Carter will forever outweigh any of that cold, clinical logic that had allowed her to progress so far in her career. She took them to lunch and she took them for dessert, soaking up the warmth of her son and her assistant together. What was it about this girl that so easily disarmed the Grant family, that allowed her to warm even the coldest of hearts? It was infuriating, really, and Cat hated it.

Yep, definitely hated it.

And that moment they shared when she gave Kiera her coffee ( _I’m more observant than you realize, Kiera_ ) was definitely meaningless and superficial. Just her observing her assistant’s coffee preferences, nothing unusual. She didn’t get to dwell on that for long, though, when her sweet baby boy was ripped away from her into the back of a van.

Kiera had jumped in after him and just like that the two bright spots in her life were gone.

She ran, of course, chased the van as far as she could ( _dammit, why did she decide to wear heels to a chess competition_?) before collapsing on the ground with a soul-wracking sob. Her mind spiraled, she could barely get each breath out, and all she could think was it’s over, it’s all over.

And then suddenly they were back, a disheveled Kiera racing back down the road with Carter stumbling behind her. At some point Kiera’s glasses had fallen off but she seemed unaware, her eyes sharp and focused as she dragged a crying Carter over to his mother. Cat couldn’t think anything but thank god over and over again as she wrapped herself around him as if she needed to touch every inch of him just to prove that he was really there, that he’s alive and breathing and safe in her arms.

They stay like that, crying and crumbled on the sidewalk, for what feels like centuries and seconds all at once, and she’s only vaguely aware of Kiera standing just above them watching the streets with a sharp focused eye. In a better state of mind Cat might have wondered how the girl could be so focused without her glasses, but the only thing she can think of now is that her darling son is alive.  


* * *

 

Kara is jittery the entire time the police are talking to them.

She needs to go, she needs to call Hank and find out what the hell is going on and why Alex just tried to kidnap Carter Grant of all people, but her arm is wrapped protectively around Carter and he’s holding on to it like its the only lifeline he’s got and she can’t just leave yet.

Besides, Miss Grant is focused on screaming at the police for allowing crime to escalate in their city and Kara can tell she might need to step in at any minute to stop her from potentially assaulting a police officer in her rage.

There’s also the fact that, despite all the years, cops still make Kara nervous. One look at the holsters at their sides and she’s immediately a teenager again, screaming and screaming while her sister lays dying in the streets. It’s hard to shake that - can you ever really escape the person you once were? - and even now she has trouble interacting with police.

  So needless to say she does not want to be standing here with all of these police officers holding one Grant in her arms while preparing to maybe restrain the other. Luckily things are drawing to a close and she can tell by the slight slump in Miss Grant’s posture that she has reached the end of her ranting for now.  

“Imbeciles,” she mumbles as she returns to them, shaking her head. “They’re all imbeciles, I can’t believe my tax money pays for their incompetence. My assistant did a better job at crime stopping than these fools.”   

Kara can’t help the slight blush that creeps up at that. Praise from Miss Grant is a rare treat, and she wishes it didn’t affect her so much. Miss Grant seems to focus in on her now, which does not help the heat in her face, and her eyes soften in a way few people ever get to see.  

“Thank you, Kiera. Just,” she falters and Kara realizes she’s never seen Miss Grant falter before, “thank you.”  

Kara beams at her and Miss Grant looks away, a move she covers by glancing at her son.

She takes in the sight of her assistant with her arm wrapped protectively around Carter. She really didn’t know how to process this girl.

This girl who stutters and lies and trips over herself whenever Cat stares for too long. Who puts up with every demand and angry outburst Cat throws her way with a smile, never losing that cheerful go-lucky charm.

Who leapt into the back of a van and fought off armed kidnappers to protect Carter.

_Who the hell is this girl?_

Kiera’s phone rings, breaking her concentration, and she watches with interest as the younger girl has a clipped monosyllabic phone conversation. So very strange. She hangs up with a sigh.

“I have to run, guys. I have an errand I have to take care of,” she announces, flashing an apologetic smile to Carter. He lets out a sad little sound and holds on to her tighter and Cat’s heart hurts so much at the sight. Who is this girl to have wormed her way into his heart like that?

“Can you come over after you’re done, Kiera?” Carter pleads without even asking for permission. “Maybe we can have a sleepover?”

A panicked glance is shot towards Cat followed by a short, awkward laugh.

“I don’t know about that, bud! I think you and your mom might want to be alone after all that.”

Carter just tightens his grip on her and Cat knows she has to say something. Her son is still so scared, and if Kiera is what will make him feel safe then how could she not encourage this? It’s only for him, after all.

“Nonsense. You’re staying with us,” Miss Grant declares, her face stoic and unreadable. “We have a guest room with its own bathroom. I assume you’re just going home to an empty apartment and perhaps you shouldn’t be alone right now. I think Carter would feel better if you stayed with us.” There’s an unspoken ‘and I would too' that hangs in the air like a fog, thick and heavy. Kara swallows reflexively.

She thinks about going home to her DEO dorm room with its empty bed beside hers, thinks about Eco-Now deciding to finish the job at the Grant’s home. She can’t help but shudder.

“Tell me if I’m overstepping,” Cat quietly adds, and Kara never in her life expected to see Cat Grant look so reserved and cautious.   “No! No you- you aren’t overstepping. I would love to, I just need to take care of something first.”  

* * *

 

“Where the HELL is Alex?”

She’s trying to keep her voice down, trying to stay in control, but it’s really hard to stay calm when the secret military organization you’ve dedicated your life to tells you they have no idea where your sister is.

“We lost contact three days ago. Last word we had was a two sentence message sent to her handler that we don’t fully understand.” Hank slides the piece of paper over to her and she snatches it up, scanning it.

 **Bigger than we thought**  
**I’m trying**

Kara throws the paper down with a yell of frustration.

“What does that mean, Hank?! What is she trying?”

She paces the room, huffing blasts of cold air with every step. Everyone keeps their distance, gives her room to cool off. This situation has escalated so quickly and the last thing they need right now is an emotionally unhinged super human getting angry.

“We don’t know. But we are trying to find her, Winn is checking security cameras from all the blocks around your attack site and we will find something. We’ll bring your sister home, Kara.” and he’s using that gentle paternal voice he uses when she gets like this, that voice he used that first time he met her at the hospital. He knows how to help her calm down.

“Why don’t you go shower and rest? You’ve had a long day.” Kara shakes her head.

“No, I promised Miss Grant I would come over tonight.” Hank gives her that look of his, with his eyebrows raised and a skeptical eye, and she tries not to let her face get red at the silent question.

“It’s for Carter. He feels very scared and having me around makes him feel safer, I guess.” She’s using her hands too much, she can tell, but she can’t stop twitching and moving them around. Even when she’s away from her somehow Miss Grant still makes her so awkward and unnerved.

Hank let out a quiet hum at that.

“That could be good, actually. Without Alex we are running blind, we won’t know if they’re planning another attack. You spending more time with Cat Grant means better protection for her and better intelligence for us. I think that’s a great idea.”

Kara nods, swallows. She’s an agent working to protect Cat Grant, nothing more. Spending the night there will help her do her job better. It’s just a job, it’s just a job.

This job feels a lot heavier than her past jobs.  


* * *

 

Carter tackles her before the doorbell even finishes ringing.

He’s such a small boy but he has a lot of force behind him, and Kara has to actively remember to loosen her stance up and move with him so it won’t feel like he ran into a block of metal.

“I’m so glad you’re here! You took forever!” 

  
She laughs, lifting him up in a hug that makes him let out a tiny, embarrassed squeal.

“I’m sorry! I had to take care of some things, but I’m here now!”   “Carter, sweetheart, let her put her bags down before you knock her over,” Miss Grant calls from inside the apartment, and Kara just laughs at the sheepish way Carter lets her go. He grabs her overnight bag from her and carries it diligently away, presumably to the room she will be staying in.

She hesitates at the door for a moment before Miss Grant calls to her and all but orders her inside. Kara slinks awkwardly into the kitchen to find her boss pulling something out of the oven.  

“I presume you haven’t eaten yet,” she says, “and you’re just in time for lasagna. Sit down.”  

Kara does as she’s told. It’s strange, seeing her boss like this. Despite the horrific event today she seems so loose here in her own home in casual clothes. Somehow the persona of Cat Grant media mogul has fallen away here, and she’s just Cat. Honestly its unnerving.

“Do you need any help?” Kara offers weakly, but Miss Grant just waves her away.

  “Just sit. You’re our guest. Carter is so glad you’re here.”

Kara smiles.    


* * *

They eat dinner together.

Kara asks Carter about his chess competition and the two adults quietly enjoy the sound of his voice. He’s alive, and he’s here, and he has a lot of very pointed opinions about chess. It is such a relief.

After dinner, Carter insists they play Settlers of Catan. Kara’s never even heard of it before (much to the Grant’s shared horror) so they quickly walk her through the game play. She catches on quick; she’s good at strategy games and before she knows it she’s actually beating both of them. One death glare from Miss Grant stalls her resolve, however, and she manages to just barely lose to the older woman. By that point Carter’s asleep against his mother’s side (he had a rough day, after all) and Kara waits patiently while Miss Grant walks her sleepy son to his room.

A few moments later she returns with two glasses of wine.

“I don’t appreciate people going easy on me, Kiera.” She takes a slow, measured sip, never taking her eyes off the younger girl. She takes a seat on the couch a little too close to Kara. Kara shifts away subconsciously.

“What are you talking about? I would never.” She totally would. She totally did, in fact. Kara flashes her a guilty smile. Miss Grant scowls.

“You know you can’t lie to me, right? I see right through you.”

Kara doesn’t know what to say, the truth of that statement weighing heavy in her throat. Her entire life was a lie and yet the way she interacted with Miss Grant wasn’t. She took a long drag of her drink, avoiding eye contact. Miss Grant laughs before taking pity on the girl.

“Mmm. We'll have a rematch, then, and I expect you to be on your best game.”

Kara smiles at that.

“I will be, Miss Grant.” Something seems to soften in Miss Grant’s eyes at that, and after a moment she quietly speaks.

“You can call me Cat, here,” she says, gesturing vaguely with her hand to the room around them, “In situations like this.”

Kara nods and takes a slow breath. Cat. It feels scandalous, even saying it in her mind. Miss Grant is a titan standing on top of an empire, a woman who has climbed and fought her way to power. Cat is a woman sitting a little closer than what might be viewed as appropriate with a glass of wine in her hand and a soft smile on her face. It’s a hard juxtaposition to handle.

“Okay, Cat.”

Its strange on her tongue. She likes it.

“Thank you again, Kiera. Sincerely. You saved my life today.” _Carter is my life._

There’s moisture in her eyes and she won’t break Kara’s stare and Kara can feel warmth traveling through her body from head to toe just at the sight of her. Slowly, hesitantly, Cat places her hand on Kara’s knee. Kara freezes; doesn’t breathe, doesn’t move. Cat’s thumb brushes twice of her skin before reluctantly pulling away. Cat clears her throat and stands, turning away.  

"Well, anyway. Let me show you to your room.”

  Kara doesn’t let her breath out until long after Cat has gone to bed.

 

* * *

  
It’s not a thing, whatever it is that’s happening between them.

It doesn’t mean anything that Kara spends the next night there. There’s nothing weird about spending your Sunday playing board games with your boss’ son while she works on the couch.

Besides, the DEO is suffocating without Alex there, and being with the Grants is literally part of her job description so there’s no reason for her to feel guilty for it. Nothing unusual is happening between them, they are just people who experienced a traumatic event spending time together.  

There’s nothing significant about them staying up late the next night, talking on the couch over wine. So what if she genuinely enjoys this, genuinely enjoys the feeling of Cat pressed slightly against her side while recounting the insane things she used to do when she worked at the Daily Planet. It doesn’t mean anything if she feels a slight tug in her chest at the way Cat looks at her with her slightly glazed drunken eyes, her expression so open and honest. That doesn’t mean there’s anything there, right?  

Oh, who is she kidding.  
 

She knows they both feel it.

Dammit.  


* * *

  
The next time they really feel it is Christmas Eve night.

There hasn’t been any more sleepovers in the two weeks its been since the kidnapping incident, but Carter does insist on coming to the office every few days to hang out at Kara’s desk. It makes her nervous, having him there every day when she knows that CatCo could be a target in an attack. He’s such a good kid and she just wants to protect him so much, him and his mom.

She tries not to think about his mom so much.

They are the only ones still in the office, just Kara and Cat working on the next publication.

Everyone was given the option to take the day off or work for pay-and-a-half, and Kara and Winn were the only ones to take up that offer. They both have the same two reasons: the first is their primary mission at the moment is to protect CatCo at all costs. The second is that they have no place to be.   

The DEO isn’t big on celebrating, and while Kara still doesn’t totally know what Winn’s life was like before they met she does know how uncomfortable he gets around the holiday season. _Not a big fan of Santa,_ he tells them. _He freak me out. The way he sneaks into your house and leaves toys… I don’t like toys._

Neither Alex nor Kara fully know how to interpret that, but they work hard to make him feel included whenever they do anything. Life took away their old families so they needed to form a new one with just the three of them. They are stronger together.

Eventually Winn runs out of work to do and slips out, heading back to the DEO for a night cap with some of the other family-less agents. Kara stays and continues to work well into the night alongside Cat on one of the couches. They sit like that, side by side, for hours. Neither of them speak for a long while until finally Cat can’t handle it anymore.  

“Why are you here?”

She doesn’t necessarily mean to snap, but she’s frustrated with this work and she’s frustrated with the woman sitting beside her. Always so willing, always going far beyond the extra mile in her hideous skirts and cardigans. Always smiling at her, no matter what she says. It’s infuriating.

  
 “You’re still working so I’m still working.”

She says it so simply, like it’s not nine thirty on Christmas Eve night, like she isn’t some severely underpaid employee working for the toughest employer in National City (voted number one for the last five years!). Everything about this girl is so confusing, so ridiculous. So frustrating.

Cat shifts uncomfortably, adjusting her skirt.

“It’s Christmas. Don’t you think it’s a little ridiculous to still be here?”   Kara shrugs noncommittally.

“Shouldn't you be home with Carter?”

There’s fire in Kara’s eyes, something Cat only sees in rare moments like this. It’s dangerous territory and they both know it. Cat scoffs.

  
 "His father worked very hard to get him for Christmas this year and I would rather not be stuck at home alone tonight. It'd be much easier to just keep working.”

Kara doesn’t know what to say to that. Her ex-husband is always a touchy subject for Cat, especially when it comes to Carter. There’s a lot of pain there just under the surface. It seems to permeate through the room, its weight resting heavy on their shoulders.

Kara tries to deflect.

”I’ve never been a big fan of Christmas, honestly.”

"What? Sunny Shaw doesn't love Christmas? And here I thought nothing could surprise me. Do you not at least have family to visit and tolerate?"

"My foster sister is out of town so I've got nowhere to be." She says it without even thinking.

Alex is still MIA.

Aside from the time she had to punch her in the face to save Carter’s life, she hasn't heard a word from her sister. She knows she’s still in the city - Kara can always feel Alex’s presence no matter what - but Hank forbid her from trying to make contact. The terrorists knew her face now, they were sure of it, and if she was seen interacting with Alex again she would be putting her sister in danger. She disagreed with this (I can help her, Hank) but she wasn’t about to disobey a direct order. Not yet, at least. That could change, though, if she sensed Alex was in real danger.

"Foster sister?” Cat says, cutting into her thoughts, “Well what about parents? Or relatives in general?"

  Kara’s mind is still with Alex, so she talks without thinking.

"Her parents - my foster parents - died when we were kids. We sort of just grew up in the system. We lived in a group home until we were old enough to venture out on own."

 _And become spies_ , she mentally adds. She looks up to see a soft, sad expression on Cat’s face and she realizes just what she's done. How did she let her guard down so much that she would tell her boss something real? How did this woman have such an effect on her? And why was that reserved, sad expression hurting her heart so intensely?

She stutters out with a forced laugh, "but I still get a lovely Christmas card from my social worker every year so I do have that going for me!"

Cat just hums quietly.

  
 “Well,” she finally says to fill in the silence and save the poor floundering girl, “I suppose there are worse ways to spend the holidays than here at work.” _With you._

There it is again. Those unspoken words, hanging just on the edge of her tongue. It’s happening more frequently, it has been ever since the day she saved Carter (who is she kidding? They’ve been there since that first interview all those months ago). Kara smiles at that, shifting the tiniest bit closer to Cat.   

"Oh yeah. This is way better than sitting at home watching Christmas specials by myself.”  

She meant to make it sound like a joke but it just sounded sad. Cat looks away, her mind reeling with this information. She never realized just how much loss was being carried by this sweet, optimistic girl. There is so much about Kiera she doesn’t know. So much about Kiera who goes, unprompted, to cheer her son on when he needs support. Who has seen her at her sharpest and pettiest and still keeps coming in day after day. Who has known immeasurable pain, yet still smiles.

"There is a lot I don't know about you, Kiera.” she finally says, catching the younger girl’s eyes. 

  
“I think that should change."

Something passes between them then, something neither can quite put a finger on. This keeps happening and it’s so dangerous, Kara knows its dangerous, but she can’t help shifting the tiniest bit closer to her. They spend the rest of their night like that, pressed just close enough to each other to be somewhat inappropriate, working away.  


* * *

  
When Kara comes in the next work day there is a small wrapped gift box on her desk.

There’s no name on it and she wonders briefly if it is even meant for her. She looks around to see no one’s paying her any mind so she decides to open it. Inside is a cute stoneware coffee mug with Noonan’s logo printed on the side. Tucked inside of it is a generic $30 gift card.   No note, nothing else identifying it. Just a mug and a gift card. Kara feels her eyes mist over a little. Cat Grant knows nothing about her - they both realize that - so she didn’t have much to work with. All she knew was that every day Kiera goes to Noonan’s to get her coffee and every day she gets her own from there as well. She likes coffee and this is her favorite brand.  It’s not much, but its a start.

“Kiera,” Cat calls from her office.

Kara puts the lid back on the box and places it on her desk before strolling towards her boss. “Do you have the layouts ready?”  

Cat doesn’t look up from her work, pointedly ignoring the bright knowing smile on her assistant’s face.   

“Yes, Miss Grant. They’re already at printing.” Cat made a small noise of approval.  

“Good. That’s all, Kiera.”

Kara nodded but doesn’t move for a long moment. Finally, she says, “Thank you, Cat,” and walks out.

It’s quiet, and Cat pretends not to hear it. Otherwise she would have to reprimand the younger girl for using her first name in the office. She said she could call her that sometimes, yes, but not here. Not at work. It’s not good for employees to start acting like a peer rather than a subordinate, after all. It’s not good to give christmas gifts to select employees. Cat sighs.

 She is definitely in trouble.


End file.
